Escaping Neverwinter

2006-10-29T15:04:00.000+08:00

Now Playing : Souvenirs by The Gathering

the moments that we shared together will always be remebered..

the sunset's calmness is all over me, a very warm feeling..

eventhough the night is coming i choose not to

i love this feeling though hate the things that shall bring thee ..

and the only reason is thy love, an undying tree

words are always not enough and actions nor not always true

this thing that binds me, must unwind,must be free

you will aways be my neverwinter, my undying thee

~Ash Gazelle : words of Autumn Mist~

(aus ba ung poem ko? hoho :D)

mitchie, im very thankfull that we've been met, the short time that we have spent together will always be remembered.. i really love you po tlga.. but there are things that cannot be..

our friendship, 'tis fuelling my passion.. though i fear 1 day that it'll become a hindrance for both of us

baka malaman nya at pag awayan nyo un. i dont want that to happen.

iba na nga pla ung gagamit kay Ash, ung kapatid ko..

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i dont want to say goodbye, i know i will regret this. but what matters to me is your happiness

remember that you will always have place in my heart..

'You are my Soul, I want to Run with you"

2006-10-28T22:26:00.000+08:00

now playing: Saturnine by The Gathering
*most of the time when i want just to relax i listen to the gathering

[starting time 10:00 pm]

this is my 2nd last post to you my dear :)

hmm.. 1st off, i would like to tell you that im very thankfull that i met you :) i wont be feeling this alive at all if it wasnt for you naalala mo ung "..this clock never seemed so alive..?" well im refering that 'clock' to me.. kc it was lightyears ata since na feel ko ung ganitong feeling :D i couldnt thank you enough kc im very shy tlga.. from the start plang i know na you have somebody na kung alam mo lang tlga ung na fe-feel ko ngaun.. haaayyzz im so inlove! hehe

2nd!~ id like to sincerely thank you for introducing me to Radio Blog! hehe :P
if wasnt for you, i will never know that exquisite site :D
alam mo ba ung tristan cafe lang alam kong site na nag proprovide ng free to 'hear' songs~
nakalimutan ko pa nga eh! :P
arggghhh.. i will really miss the times when we shared together our favorite musics! wakoko tapos kung panu tau mag share ng lyrics na patama satin :)
aw diko alam kung bakit nag wa-watery ung eyes ko hehe (teka punasan ko muna)

[11:00pm]

(oisht! ang duga mo ha... diko alam kung nag ol ka ngaun sa YM mo .. baka tinataguan mo na me! haha ;))
oh well ndi na maiiwasan yan ehehehe)

3rd shempre ung mga kilig moments ko sa screenies natin! wahoho~ naalala mo un? nung nakita tau ni les sa spot natin? ahohoho ang totoo nun, pinapunta ko sha kc it was like a dream come true!~ haha (naka sama ko love ko sa isang place na kami lang dalawa hoho) tlgang nag pm ako sa kanya nun! hehe :P shensha na nga pla kundi ako ganun ka honest >:)<

4rth, alam mo ba 1st tym ko mag record at i publish sa madla ung ginawa kong song para sa special someone ko? ehehe >:)<

tapos ung tungkol sa siggy? what it meant is this...
Anata wa chikai keredo onaji toki ni tookute = "you are near but so far away" or "my love is near but so far away"
Anata o aishiteimasu. Mata aimashou =this means you that i REALLY love you (or are at least deeply in love you) and you'll meet her in the NEAR future. err asa pa ako hahaha

now that i have confess my feelings na .. i wonder kung papansinin mo pa ako... :(

anywayz [12:00 na! lolz wala man lang paramdam jan! hehe i understand.. :P]

Neverwinter

2006-10-28T15:11:00.000+08:00

Now Playing: Some Day we'll know :P

aw kanina medyo naramdaman nya gung gaano aku ka down.. awts.. totoo pla ung six sense..

pero otei lang, atleast maranung ako magdala. hehe :P mitchie sowwy kung diko kaya sabihin sau ha..

im really like this tlga..

i just met lang siguro u in the wrong place and time.

but eventhough our 'bonding moments' were just short and vauge,

ill treasure it here inside me.. lolz ayaw ko na mag drama hehe :P

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ok na din ung ganun, atleast i get to know you kahit na medyo lang :D

i really didnt want to do this, i have no other choice but to stop the fire before it fully devours me :(

i love our relationship but i do fear when the time comes that it'll just be a hindrance for both of us

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crap, nasanay na ako gumising ng maaga ka chat ka habang nag kakape<--ill miss that

tapos sound3'ping together habang nag shashare ng stories.. <-- ill mishhh dat too :(

the fun,laugh,and sad times we shared will always stay right here :)

2006-10-28T00:24:00.000+08:00

Now Playing: Things Dont Always Turn Out That Way~

Well he can't sleep at night

And he can't do what's right

It was all because she came into his life

it's a deep obsession, taking up his time..

she's all that he wants, she's ALL that he needs

she's EVERYTHING he just wont believe

Take away his doubt, turn him inside out

Then she can see what he's been dying to say

but things don't always turn out that way..

ungghh.. as i type those lyrics from alex bond (sup dude!) teka parang na iiyak ata aku. w8 lang.*dried out my watery eyes* lolz.. Errm nasan na nga ba me? ay, as i type those words nga.. parang repeatedly being stab by a knife ryt thru my heart.. pero lil by lil parang i know na kung anung gagawin sa problema ko, ay ndi pla e2 problem.. it is just my fantasy lang pla, i hate fooling myslef.

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pero diko namamalayan ganun na pla ang ginagawa ko.. hiyang hiya na me sa kanya.. maybe hindi nya lang sinasabi pero ramdam ko "pls.. i dont want to be rude but will you stop bugging me?" <-- parang ganyan ay w8 uli...*dried out my watery eyes* kc uber bait nya tlga kaya siguro she's not that kind of person para sabihin ang ganung words.. *sobs*.

ndi nmn tlga ako umaasa..(im the kind of person ung 'Expect the worsts and just beat it")kaya nga e2 o, d2 sa diary.. eerm,sa blog ko nilalabas..LOLz wala kc ako masabihan ng problema kaya d2 nlng hehe :P.

ang galing ko nga umakting eh, walang nakaka notice even her! hoho~ galing ko tlga mag tago ng feelings

well buti nlng sakto lang 'dough' ko ngaun kung ndi mag lalasheng nnmn ako. wooooooot~

siguro nid ko lang ng bagong 'hobby' aww just want to play Ar-Ep! pero yoko mag log in using Ash.. aww

siguro papa change name ko nlng un.

hmm maybe your wondering kc puro ka-EMO-han ung naka post d2? kc ang balak ko when im ready to

tell it to her na.. (my true feelings) i didirect ko nlng sha d2. kc siguro iniisip nya ang manhid manhid manhid ko..the truth is really love her..but it cannot be..pero i always try nman to control it.. lol.

ayan parang ok na ko, ndi ko na feel umiyak.. LOLZ 'nu ka ba pre?? lalake tayo noh! boys dont cry' *talking to himself* aw boys dont cry daw.. LOKOHIN MO SARILI MO! wakokok. aw ganito ba tlga pag inlab? *sighs* i wish feelings was like just a file that you could delete whenever you want it.

2006-10-27T10:33:00.000+08:00

i dont really know whats happening to me. theres a side of me na 'be your self' tapos ung isa sabi 'alam mo naman ang tama sa mali diba?' arrghh.. dont know what to do anymore. i just want to stop the fire habang kaya pang pigilan. indi ko naman masabi na im sorry.. *sigh* hirap tlga pag inlove..

Im a Ok

2006-10-24T22:45:00.000+08:00

shucks 2 nights na me ala rf. x3 pa naman drops ngaun.. meron akung 100php na load pero ayaw ko iscratch..

ayaw ko kc shang makita IG. siguro dahil ayaw kong makita na kausap nya mga highbies.. tapos dadaan aku and say "hi~!" and she will not notice cuz she's too busy chatting with the high levels rather than chatting a level 35, major ranked(dapat caters eh),unpopular, no elems, and a poor sentry like me :(

sigh.. i wish i was better.stronger.braver. and not some stupid.no good s.o.a.b. shy.amfefe like me :(

haaaayz.. another big day tommorow~ alow world~ aja aja!

someday,somehow..

2006-10-23T07:47:00.000+08:00

last night, i drunk my self till death just to help succumb this feeling of nothingness inside.. i cant blame her or anyone with this. i dont like to whine about life or how does it treats me. sanay na ako e.. and somehow i dont remember if i cried my self to sleep.(reeeeeeeeealy pathetic huh? >.<) but i do remember before i shut myself down to the depths of my Neverwonderland i left her a message on her YM saying, "sana manalo tau CW.. "(aw, ndi ko na maalala grabeh, dame ko nainom) though i really want tell is, "i want to be with you eventhough it is so wrong..."

im so guilty about my feelings.. this is wrong but it feels so right. pakiramdam ko napaka sama kong tao... I am not realy like this so EMO 2 weeks ago. im just a simple guy enjoying the things that life brings me..

aarrghhh~ gus2 kong sumigaw, gus2 kong akyatin yang bundok na nasa tabi ng bahay namin at sumigaw ng napakalakas. i want to call her name but i cant. sigh.

i dont have a clue on how to deal with things like this.. maybe im just being immature? or being selfish? sigh..

please wake me up

2006-10-21T22:22:00.000+08:00

my head aches. confused. i dont feel good. i feel like crying. i just wanna be a ghost..
i feel like im numb. my lips are trembling. im cold. and somehow im lonely.. duh >.<
i want to wake up from this dream,this surreal place,am now hating my self,i just want
go some place that no one, or anyone will now me. i feel ashamed of my self. i feel stupid
I'm so pathetic..

please wake me up

2006-10-08T20:39:00.000+08:00

whew.. 1st post?
naisip ko lang gawing diary tong blogger.com haha